Real Beauty Moment: My 10-Year-Old Daughter Got Me Thru My Divorce

I always thought I was too skinny.  I struggled with that.  When I was going through my divorce I lost a lot of weight, and then my face kind of looked longer, my bones were sticking out more. I didn’t want to see myself because I was already skinny and I was already a little bit insecure about how skinny I was so you can imagine.

I have two beautiful kids and they helped me.  I just had to find myself.  I was completely lost.   So I found myself, I started wearing a little bit of makeup, I started taking pictures again.  I cut my hair.  It took a while but I got through it.

You have to find yourself because at the end of the day that person moved on. Divorce is for different reasons for different people but it’s still the same process.  It’s still the same emotions.  You have to find yourself.

I have a 10-year-old and a 4-year-old, and the 10-year-old she was not used to seeing my crying, she was not used to seeing me not eating, all the things that we used to do together I stopped.  Then I was like, I have to get it together my daughter is falling apart with me.  I listened to some of the things she said and I realized I really had to get it together.  She said things like mom, you don’t wear makeup anymore.  She would say, ‘oh, you used to take me here, mom it’s Thursday and we used to go to so and so,’ and I would say, I don’t want to go.  She would get really sad and I was like, ‘you know what.’  She’s very smart.  She would say some things out of the blue.   She said a few things that made me realize she was actually going through it with me.  Some of the things she said, I was thinking, ‘how would she know to say that and I’m the one who is feeling that.’  So that helped me.  I had to do counseling, that helps too.  I promised my daughter that I would never put her through anything like that again.  With that promise I tell myself, ‘okay, I can’t be sad today.’  I have to build her up to be confident.  Even now when we go out she says, ‘mommy you can date now.’ I had to really get it together for my daughters.   

– Shushara Byfield, @diamondintheruss_flowerbomb

Abi Ishola

Editor-in-Chief

Abi Ishola is the Founder and Editor-in-Chief of Beyond Classically Beautiful, the acclaimed photo series turned multimedia platform. On any given day, you can find her tucked away in a perfectly lit Brooklyn coffee shop working for several hours. Then she dashes off to pick up her daughter from daycare. Abi is also a TV Producer, a proud FIT Alum, Nigerian-American, and a soul searcher.

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